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November 2, 2008

Hyphenated Lovers and Male Domination

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Robert asked:


There are many swingers couples that state that they are not interest in single men. They make it clear that the girfriend is bisexual and that the boyfriend is totally straight. It seems to be an odd trend because swinging is about providing both parties with pleasure from the gender that most excites them. This means that a man would want to swing with a woman and his wife. The man likes women and he fantasizes about women constantly. Though the woman claims to be bisexual, the main objects of her erotic and emotional attention are usually men. The female then has stronger desire for men, but most couples prohibit single men, according to a recent research. True, some allow for other couples so as to facilitate partner swapping, but the overriding motivation for most couples is having sex with single female says Betty Lee, a private Swing Club owner.

The fact that the male gets the object of his desire all the time indicates male domination. The male does not enjoy the thought of another man sharing his wife with him. He does not want the wife to enjoy the unique pleasure to be gotten from penile penetration from another man. In short, he does not want his wife to enjoy polyamory as much as he does. If another must have sex with his wife, the man must be preoccupied having sex with another woman. The clitoral stimulation that another woman could give to his wife is not as exciting as psychic and physical pleasure the male derives by being sexually situated with two women. The wife does not enjoy the double pleasure of having two members of the primarily desired sex satisfy her as the husband does.

The basic assumption is that a straight or bi woman who swings would want a man sooner or later. However, if the woman belonging to the couple wants to please her spouse she would seek women only.



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